I was.
Still am on occasion, but far less frequently now. I am a recovering SuperGal, after all.
Saturdays had become my favorite day of the week. It was the only day I didn’t have a standing obligation. The only day I didn’t wait in dread for a client to call me with a problem. The only day I didn’t have to drive 60 or 100 miles because I live far from others in my life. The only day I didn’t have to get up before dawn so I would have enough hours.
Except I got up before dawn anyway. Because I didn’t want to waste five minutes of a Saturday. I loved them. Yearned for them. Coveted them. Jealously guarded them.
And when they were over, they mostly left me sad and disappointed.
Why? They weren’t long enough. Or accommodating enough. Or fulfilling enough. They didn’t live up to my expectations.
I wanted to fill them with activities with my husband, family and friends. And I wanted to have the whole day to myself. All in the same day.
I know. That’s completely unreasonable. But that’s exactly how I felt. So the only possible outcome was disappointment. And anxiety.
Time anxiety.
Anticipating fun times at parties, barbecues, or concerts, I happily accepted invitations. And I truly would have a good time while I was there.
But if it were an afternoon event, I could feel my happiness slipping away on the drive home. As I counted the hours left in the day, there weren’t enough. I would wish I’d stayed home to do more things.
If it were an evening event, I would start to fret hours ahead about how early I’d have to begin to get ready to go out, which would steal time I had needed to do other things.
Now here’s where it gets really crazy—if I didn’t schedule any activities, I would be happy as a clam. For a few hours in the morning. Then, I would quickly grow restless.
What else could we find to do? Something on my to-do list? Visit the kids or my mom? Call a friend? I couldn't just sit around and waste a Saturday!
What’s more, I would suffer the same anxiety about bedtime. Going to bed meant I had run out of time that day. But I had to get up in four hours to start all over again. So there. I had disappointed myself again. I had failed to do every single thing I wanted to do that day.
Wow. Talk about pressure.
I suffered from clock anxiety all but a few precious hours in the early morning, when the whole day stretched ahead, and I could believe that I would accomplish everything I had in mind.
It was a mess. I was a mess.
No matter how hard or fast I worked, no matter how early I arose or how late I went to bed, I couldn’t outrun time.
“What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel pressed for time every single moment of my life? I can’t possibly be that much busier than everyone else!”
I asked, so God answered. Thankfully, I heard His answer.
“It’s not your list of chores. It’s you, and your need to control everything. The day. The future. Instead of trusting Me for your day.”
There. I’d forgotten again.
I’d forgotten to have simple faith and just trust God.
Forgotten that God was more than capable of empowering me to live each day joyfully.
That I needed to ask Him what to do that day. Every day.
Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. 6. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. Proverbs 3: 5-6 (AMP)
This day, this moment, is the only one that matters. Let the rest of the day, the week, the month take care of themselves.
When I’m in close communication with God, leaning on Him, the clock ceases to be an instrument of torment. When I start to hear it tick, I again remind myself that God’s “got” it.
So I pray. Every day. Often.
What a blessed relief to know that I don’t have to figure it all out anymore. That God can and will handle it all for me.
Today. And tomorrow.
Lori Hynson
Author, Speaker, Bible Teacher
The SuperGal Syndrome – Breaking the Chains of Control, Pride & Perfectionism™
Busy, burdened women are increasingly suffering from the debilitating side effects of superhero complex, known as The SuperGal Syndrome™. This spiritual disease has become epidemic among women of all ages, negatively impacting our families, friends and fellow believers. This syndrome, and its focus on control, pride and perfectionism, causes a chasm in our personal relationship with Christ.
Fueled by my passion to inspire women who struggle in their self-imposed chains, I’m sharing my SuperGal recovery secrets through the Word of God. I encourage you to surrender these chains to God. Because. . .
IT’S NOT OUR JOB TO RUN THIS PLANET!
Interview at Inspiration.org SuperGal vs GOD
9/21/2020 12:15:00 PM by: Lori Hynson
The Tyranny of the Turkey
11/28/2019 12:00:00 PM by: Lori Hynson
Win an Autographed Copy of SuperGal vs GOD - Second Edition!
8/9/2019 2:00:00 PM by: Lori Hynson
Chasing Contentment
7/28/2019 7:15:00 AM by: Lori Hynson
What If?
6/1/2018 3:00:00 PM by: Lori Hynson
Behold 2018 Women's Conference
1/19/2018 6:00:00 PM by: Lori Hynson
Where on Earth Is the Peace?
12/2/2017 11:30:00 PM by: Lori Hynson
Bible Study Group - Overcoming The SuperGal Syndrome
7/25/2016 3:13:00 PM by: Lori Hynson
The SuperGal Syndrome - Do You WANT To Get Well?
7/6/2016 10:25:57 AM by: Lori Hynson
Can 61 Be Sweeter Than 16??
10/7/2015 8:21:32 PM by: Lori Hynson
How Can You Overcome SuperGal Syndrome? Just S.T.O.P.!
9/2/2015 12:00:01 AM by: Lori Hynson
So, What's God Got To Do With It?
4/16/2015 12:00:01 AM by: Lori Hynson
It Is Possible to Change
1/22/2015 12:00:01 AM by: Lori Hynson
I Confess! I'm a People Pleaser!
1/15/2015 5:58:32 AM by: Lori Hynson
September 11 - The Day The World Changed
9/11/2014 8:05:41 AM by: Lori Hynson
Bloggerview of Lori by Miranda Uyeh
9/6/2014 2:18:14 PM by: Lori Hynson
In the SuperGal Stew - Again!
8/28/2014 4:57:55 PM by: Lori Hynson
Your SuperPowers, or God's? MyPurposeNow.org
8/21/2014 4:47:36 PM by: Lori Hynson
Impatient Much??
8/14/2014 12:00:01 AM by: Lori Hynson
The Vision is the Victory
7/24/2014 12:00:01 AM by: Lori Hynson
Starbucks Faith
7/9/2014 12:00:01 AM by: Lori Hynson
E.G.O. Edging God Out
7/2/2014 12:00:01 AM by: Lori Hynson
Time Anxiety - Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Clock?
3/4/2014 12:00:01 AM by: Lori Hynson
SuperGal Stew
2/4/2014 10:13:44 AM by: Lori Hynson
Wearing the Chains We Forge in Life
1/28/2014 6:15:52 PM by: Lori Hynson
When God Moves Into Your House
1/21/2014 9:43:20 AM by: Lori Hynson
Don't Open the Cellar Door
10/20/2013 12:00:01 AM by: Lori Hynson
Web of Control by Verna Bowman
9/15/2013 9:51:12 PM by: Lori Hynson
9/11/01 - Excerpt from "SuperGal vs. GOD"
9/11/2013 7:01:17 AM by: Lori Hynson
How Pretty Are Your Lips Today?
6/20/2013 9:17:16 PM by: Lori Hynson
A Finger in the Face of Satan
6/13/2013 2:26:33 PM by: Lori Hynson
Go On With Your Bad Self!
10/22/2012 12:00:01 AM by: Lori Hynson
The Birth of a SuperGal
9/14/2012 12:00:01 AM by: Lori Hynson